So many people hate the idea of a spring or summer fling, everyone is so focused on finding the love of their life or settling down that they totally pass up opportunities for an amazing (yet brief) fling. This year I’m aiming to have a summer fling (I’m polyamorous), so here’s my defence of why I love the concept.
Nothing Is Permanent
I’m sure we’re all aware that nothing in life lasts forever. All relationships end in you parting ways, or one person dying- it’s as simple as that really. Now, I’m not saying that to be pessimistic, that’s just how it is. And don’t get me wrong if I meet one of the great loves of my life then sure, it might extend past this summer. But what I really want is a summer romance. The stupendously perfect shit that you see in movies, and you convince yourself…that might not exist. It might not exist. I’m aware of this…but I’m looking for it anyway. I think there’s a beauty in things that aren’t permanent anyhow, things that start quickly and end just as abruptly. Leaving you with either a broken heart of a shit ton of great memories.
Everything is Better in Summer
Yes, being all cozy and cute in winter is fun. But the cold weather pretty much forces you to stay inside the whole time. Whereas in summer you can roam around town all day until it’s 10pm and barely just dusk. You can hang around in parks, swim in lakes, connect with nature and have good as fuck ice cream. The atmosphere of summer with its shorts, crop tops, bike rides, and warm evenings is just beautiful. Sharing it with someone who you have an intense yet brief connection with makes it somehow even better!
Sometimes life IS a Romcom
Life can truly be boring, distressing, turbulent and down right awful at times. But sometimes it genuinely feels like a romcom (romance-comedy, for those unaware).
Recently my best friend and I have been talking a lot about the ‘romcom moments’ in our lives. Not all of them are good, (in fact most are embarrassing) but that doesn’t matter. We occasionally experience something so fun, something that feels so spontaneous yet perfectly curated, as if it was stolen from the pages of a book. That’s what summer flings are about. No, life isn’t a romcom. But when it’s 27 degrees outside and you’re hanging out with the hottest person you know, and do something so embarrassingly stupid it deserves a laugh track and song number…then its a romcom.
Things Don’t Need to Escalate
Bear with me here, because I’m still trying to convince myself of this one.
Sometimes the connections you have with people don’t need to escalate. Just because you adore being around someone or totally love fucking them, that doesn’t mean it has to develop into a relationship. With summer flings you spend a couple of weeks or months hanging out, then go back to your respective lives. There’s no obligations or expectations to continue what you had. You don’t have to struggle through a long distance relationship. You can just let things fizzle-out* without needing to “breakup”.
*Don’t ghost them though. Ghosting is rude af, you need to be on the same page.
It’s easier than you think
Sure a good summer fling used to be difficult to come across, but now it’s easy. With the use of Tinder or Bumble you can pretty much find your ideal fling within a few days of swiping. (Note I say ‘days’ because I’m extremely particular about who I swipe right on). Sure, it might not be as romantic as a meet-cute but if you hit it off with someone then why the heck not? If you don’t like ‘dating’ apps then try getting one of your friends to set you up with someone. Or do it the good ole fashioned way of wandering around cool summery places until you meet someone worthy. If your friends do set you up however make sure they find someone who you won’t have to see after the summer.
So that’s my defense. Summer and spring flings are absolutely wonderful in my opinion. Whilst they’re not for everyone they’re a whole lot of fun, create a bunch of amazing memories, and are generally just a great way to meet and connect with new people. Go have a great romcom moment to tell your friends about!